Yesterday, we visited our local hospital for an appointment for my youngest daughter who is 17 weeks old. I will try & keep it as short as possible as to the reason for our regular visits, although it was mainly due to her not gaining weight.
After a series of tests for various diseases it was deemed she was fine & we were formally discharged after gaining enough weight to keep them happy.
My issue/grumble call it what you will, begins 2 months ago when Kiki had been admitted.
It was while they were doing Ob's they noticed she hadn't been gaining weight. She was kept in overnight and we were seen the next day by a consultant who thought she was lactose intolerant and we were to start her on a lactose free formula as a top up to breast feeding. I also had to change my diet to a lactose free diet. While this was going on they were to perform all manner or other tests for a variety of possible diseases.
It scared the shit out of me.
I had gone for over 12 hours with no sleep, hoping my baba was going to be ok. I listened to what they said amid a sleep deprived haze of numbness.
Deep down my feeling/intuition was telling me it's simpler than that. It is not what they are claiming it to be.
I followed their instructions but still my baba screamed day & night & always seemed in pain. She hadn't opened her bowels, this time in 16 days.
After a long conversation with my partner & a trip to an Osteopath (a man of sense) I introduced her to Aptamil formula 1oz at a time until by the end of the week she was taking 5oz's.
You see i believed my baba was hungry. I believed my breast milk was not giving her enough in either volume or nutrition. So i would top up after a breast feed. This seemed to work a treat.
So much so that she eventually refused to go onto the breast & would only take formula. By our next appt. she was taking 5 5oz bottles a day and had put on a significant amount of weight.
The consultant still did not know this & believed we were still following the lactose free route. Why did she not know, because no body told her.
I then received frantic 'phone calls to bring her in immediately as they were concerned her weight had dropped off the scale & wanted her admitted to begin feeding her via a tube.
You can imagine my shock & horror. No one was going to force feed my baby when she was already doing so well with what we were doing. All i could picture was the trauma this would be not just for baba but for my oldest daughter & the rest of us.
We rushed to the hospital where they kept us waiting for a very long time (thats a whole other story in itself) eventually she was seen, weighed & we were sent away. All was fine.
I then saw my GP (another man of sense) who asked me if i was weaning her. I tried to look shocked but probably ended up looking furtive, which is why he pressed me on it and yes i admitted i was. After all my baby was hungry.
So for everyone out there pulling gasps of shock/horror because I'm weaning before the allotted time. All i will say is this-I have done my research.
The British Dietetics Assoc in Paediatrics say that although it is ideal for a baby to be exclusivelyley breast/bottlefed for 6 months it is ok to wean early there is no apparent link to gastroenteritis.
The W.H.O have no significant guidelines for our country on this either but they do for the developing world.
To top it all not one of the doctors/consultants or dietitian's have even batted an eyelid when i told them i have already started weaning.
She had also started to open her bowels. Well she would wouldn't she when she is feeding. If she had nothing in her tummy how could she possibly go to the toilet. So we all have great pride in every poopy nappy she does! not typical i know *Grin's*
The point i am trying to make is, that i want all mum's new or otherwise to trust your instincts. This is being take away from us. With all the supposed guidelines issued by so called professionals based on their idea of what an AVERAGE baby/child is or should do. What is AVERAGE anyway, all babies/children ARE different and develop at different rates FACT.
If i had not trusted my instincts this story could have ended so very differently, something i am just not prepared to dwell on. It does make me angry though.
All of you Women out there start trusting your instincts again take back the power and believe in yourselves that you will make the right decisions & don't beat yourself up if the ideal way doesn't work for you, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you have a happy healthy baby who thrives & in turn you will be a happy healthy momma.
I have spoken to so many women who have had similar experiences and have been belittled and made to feel guilty or that they are doing wrong if they choose not to breast feed or choose to wean early.
This should be a time of discovery for new mums for any mum ,who has just given birth a time of reflection & bonding with their new born. Not a time to be made to feel inadequate because you are not following guidelines especially at such a fragile time in a woman's life
This leads me on to birthing, please, all you midwives/health visitors out there, inform your ladies that there are real options for giving birth, that it does not mean you HAVE to be in hospital to do it. YES YOU CAN HAVE A HOMEBIRTH it is perfectly acceptable, less invasive and a truly spiritual experience. On that note i will save my birthing story for another day, needless to say i had to fight to get my home waterbirth.....................
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